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It has been a few months into trying out the prospect of arranged marriage. The decision came with the desire to find a decent, understanding companion I could share my life with. At the outset, let me tell you the process of finding a suitable match in this structure requires a considerable investment of time and energy. So after much deliberation, I finally decided to take the plunge. As an independent, working woman of today, why did I choose to do this? Not because of a lack of faith in the ability to fall in love organically but an inkling that perhaps sometimes love is not just enough. The structure of arranged marriage, on the contrary, was allowing me to pick and choose the man who suited my criteria — including emotional intelligence — and help me eliminate apparent risks in a relationship like any toxicity that sometimes go unnoticed, ignored or encountered later in an otherwise organic romantic bond. This, of course, does not go to suggest that an arranged marriage would turn out to be risk-free, but an early red flag gives you the chance to opt out of the match without any baggage. Perhaps the fact that we see progressive and successful men and women of today as shown in the series still going ahead with the set-up challenges the argument in a way.

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The show follows the journey of a Mumbai-based matchmaker who arranges marriage alliances between wealthy families in India and the US. What is disconcerting is not simply the easy acceptance of social conservatism by the young and elderly, not the least by Indian diaspora in the United States. What stands out for Indians is the importance of marital status. Arranged marriages, the norm in India, are tightly bound within the caste of the bride and groom.

In crude forms like matrimonial websites, caste preferences are the main criteria, followed by physical appearance and salary potential. In covert forms, even individuals who choose their own partners, tend to self-censor their options within their own community and class.

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A large number of marriages in India have traditionally been arranged. And so, offline or online, the basic ideology remains the same, and people are filtered according to religion, caste, community, financial background, profession, geographical location, and recently, education. From generic matrimonial websites, people have started targeting more specific markets. Not only are there region and religion based segregation, but also class based.

Elite Matrimony from BharatMatrimony, for example, offers exclusive match-making for the upper-caste elites. The site only allows alumni from top notch and premier institutes to register. However, the idea of creating such niche websites fails to win a unanimous support.

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By Shreeya Sinha. India now has more than 1, matchmaking sites, giving parents — and potential brides and grooms — thousands of choices to help arrange modern marriages while allowing families to adhere to longstanding traditions regarding caste and religion. We asked readers, some of whom only gave their first names, who have used such sites to share their tips. Kadhambari Sridhar, 26, from Falls Church, Va.

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With more and more people content to let Internet play cupid, it is the wedding websites that are living happily ever after. After overtaking the postman, the Internet began to take over the role of the traditional marriage broker as is evident from the surfeit of matchmaking portals on the web. According to Charoo Walia, 31, finding her better half was a cakewalk. The Mumbai-based girl had registered her profile in a wedding portal— shaadi.

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Unlike platforms like Match. These sites allow individuals and family members to submit a profile in the search for a spouse, replicating online the traditional role of family in matchmaking. Among the information people fill out on the site is a direct question about whether they are willing to enter into an intercaste marriage. For centuries, Indian marriages have been considered a union of two families, initiated by parents of the bride and groom.

In a typical setting, the arranged marriages are formed based on caste social status based on birth or heredity, often associated with notions of purity , education, affluence, horoscope and other physical characteristics. The result has been a society that creates static social classes, resulting in perpetually disadvantaged groups that not only are denied dignity and self-respect but resources, jobs and education.

Governmental incentives and societal movements have attempted to counter caste attitudes but most research to date has suggested that there has been little change in attitude and practice. Previous research has found some openness from those of an older age, with different signals about the effects of increased education, living in a rural area, having an employed mother and being a member of a lower caste. The responses also show what the researchers call a surprising result that Indian diaspora living in the United States who use the site are significantly less open to intercaste marriage than their counterparts in India, suggesting a focus on maintaining cultural identity as they live abroad in places where they have minority status.

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